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Friday, June 5, 2009

I'm Hungry, I'm Starving



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My mother utters those words at least 20 times each day.

This morning right after she finished eating her oatmeal, and with the bowl still in front of her, my mother said, "I'm hungry, I'm starving".

Back during that difficult, very trying, first year, my mother would eat constantly. It was driving me crazy.

It honestly made me feel crazy and disconcerted.

Then one lucky day in the gym, I mentioned to two complete strangers how this was making me nuts. They had already gone the full round trip with Alzheimer's.

As I vented, they stood there listening, smile on their faces, head nodding up and down yes, and listened to me vent.

When I finished, they told me about their very similar experience(s). They gave me a great deal of encouragement. Even though I never saw them again, I think of them often.

They changed my life.

It was later that day that the little light bulb in my head went on.

I realized -- I am not alone. There are millions of people, just like me, going through the same experiences, day in, day out. Millions all over the world.

I thought about the smiles on the faces of the two people I met in the gym. The encouragement and positive feedback they offered. Their kindness.

I decided, right then and right there, to learn as much as I could about Alzheimer's.

I decided that I would do everything possible to get control of the crazy situation I found myself living, day in, day out.

I decided that sooner or later, I would become a happy caregiver.

I made it.

The Alzheimer's Reading Room is all about changing the lives of Alzheimer's caregivers. For the better.

At the end of the day, I want each and every person that comes here to know -- they are not alone.

I want them to know that Alzheimer's is a sinister disease that will try to ruin their life. But, it doesn't have to be that way.

I want them to know, if it is up to me, that is not going to happen.

The collective brain of the Alzheimer's Reading Room is growing each and every day.

Each person that makes a comment, shares their words of wisdom, or offers advice on this website lets another Alzheimer's caregiver know -- they are not alone.

One by one, we help each other turn on the little light bulb in our head.

I'm happy to be a part of it.

Gotta go, "I'm hungry, I'm starving".



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More About the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Bob DeMarco is the editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob has written more than 2,200 articles with more than 237,500 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room
Posted by Bob DeMarco at 6/05/2009 01:32:00 PM
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4 comments:

  1. Bob: Thank you so very much for providing us with this wonderful website. You brought a smile to my face when I read your story. I reflected back on the time my mother would ask for a chicken patty sandwich, this was her favorite. After she ate it, she would turn and ask for another, and another, and another. Yes, I definitely understand the craziness you feel, but also realize the love and compassion you have in you for your mother. You quickly learn as a caregiver to not let the little things bug you and do your best to laugh them off. I wished my mother were still alive to hound me for a chicken patty sandwich. Keep smiling!

    Deborah Ann Tornillo
    Author, 36 Days Apart
    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post and thanks for sharing. I so wish I could get to the place where I could honestly say I am a happy caregiver. I so love my little mother and am honored to be with her as she ages with Alzheimer's, but resentment and dread seem to rear their ugly head more often than I'd like.

    Judy.
    www.chrissysmoments.blogspot.com
    ReplyDelete
  3. Judy...

    The key is , you have feelings. This is a good thing. And, it seems you are in touch with those feelings.

    Early on I learned to label my feelings. This allowed me to understand exactly what I was feeling at any moment in time.

    Soon, I learned to label a bad feeling. Accept it. Take a couple of deep breaths. And blow it away -- like a bad rain cloud. Next thing I knew, the sun came out.

    Don't get me wrong. The feelings still come in waves. But, I learned its up to me to decide whether its raining or sunny.

    You said you love your mother. Sun. Try to think about that next time you are ready to pull your hair out.

    Bob
    ReplyDelete
  4. I dealt for years caretaking at home. I always felt guilty with the "I'm starving". He would tell the nurse we were not feeding him, even with dishes in front of him and him overweight! We did a lot of research and got rid of High Fructose corn Syrup and the behaviour stopped. I don't care what the commercials say, that stuff is a chemical evil.

    Then he went to asking what day it is 20 times a day, but it was so much easier to deal with. Hang in there. It is frustrating, but it can be rewarding. He is gone now, but I don't regret anything. We promised him he could die at home and he did.
    ReplyDelete

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