So you see Tony, I did have a choice. And, like I told you on the phone, someday I'll be making some new choices --just as soon as the sun comes out.
My name is Bob DeMarco, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. My mother Dorothy, now 93 years old, suffers from Alzheimer's disease. We live our life one day at a time.
Bob DeMarcoAlzheimer's Reading Room
Editor
On some days our life is nothing short of horrific. On some days our life is nothing short of wonderful.
If I had to make the decision I made six years ago over tomorrow, I would make the same choice -- I chose to become an Alzheimer's caregiver. I never regret my decision -- not even for a minute.
I have a good buddy -- Tony Polk. It might be odd when I say good buddy because Tony and I have never met in person. A couple of months ago Tony contacted me because he wanted to write an article about me -- Wall Streeter One Day: Alzheimer's Caregiver the Next. That is how it all started.
Now we speak often. Tony is an interesting and fascinated guy. If you would like to find out what I mean take a trip over to his blog -- The Unruly Mob. I find the articles on The Unruly Mob interesting and thought provoking. The Unruly Mob is like a very good magazine. You might not be interested in every article, but sooner or later you will find one that is of great interest.
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Yesterday I had a conversation with Tony and he said to me "you didn't have a choice." He was referring to my role as an Alzheimer's caregiver.
Most people believe I am living some kind of horrific life and I didn't have a choice. They believe I was forced into this role without any alternative.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
At the beginning I had a choice. I could put my mother into some kind of assisted care facility, or I could take care of her myself.
This decision was easy for me because I decided more than 30 years ago that when my parents needed me I would be there for them. As they aged I thought about this more and more often. I guess you could say I was well prepared in advance -- emotionally and psychologically.
I may as well tell you this -- I never told anyone what I was going to do when the time came -- not my family, not my friends.
So, while they were all surprised when I dropped out of the world to take care of my mother, it seemed to me that the time had come.
It was more than a year before I realized -- I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. Now, when I meet new people and they ask me what I do, I say, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. Most of these people get a confused look on their face, or assume I have a job caring for people with Alzheimer's.
However, every once in a while the person looks at me and says -- you are the ONE. When this happens, I look at them hard, right in he eyes. I want to know, are they a ONE, or are they related to a ONE? I get it right every time.
When I meet a ONE in person, I get an immediate charge of adrenalin. A very pleasant feeling encompassed my body. I feel very happy. I can't decide if this is caused by my body, or the if the ONE is giving off some kind of energy. Maybe its the interaction of the ONEs?
I don't mind saying this either -- I always new I was going to be a ONE. I believe I knew this since I was twelve years old.
Now I often think to myself, why am I an Alzheimer's caregiver? I believe there is a reason even though I do not yet know the reason.
I am confident in this belief -- someday the reason will come to me. It will come to me just like when the sun comes out after the storm. I am looking forward to that moment.
So you see Tony, I did have a choice. And, like I told you on the phone, someday I'll be making some new choices --just as soon as the sun comes out.
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Original content Bob DeMarco, Alzheimer's Reading RoomBob DeMarco is the editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The Alzheimer's Reading Room is the number one website on the Internet for news, advice, and insight into Alzheimer's disease. Bob has written more than 800 articles with more than 18,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.
