Monday, February 15, 2010

How the Hell Would You Know?


I hear these words all the time -- "you are a good son"....

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

I don't know how many times a complete stranger said to me, "you are a good son." Hundreds, more than a thousand times?

I'm sitting here thinking about how I use to feel when I heard these words. I would think to myself, how do you know? Or, if I was in a bad mood, how the hell would you know?

Complete strangers (mostly women) would come up to me smile and say, "you are a good son". They based their opinion on a simple observation, they saw me holding my mother's hand as we walked.


I heard these words in the gym, in the grocery store, in restaurants, at the nail salon, and even at the doctor's office.

I suppose you could say, I didn't need to be told I was a good son. I knew I was a good son. Or maybe, it was because I had a problem accepting praise.

After all, most of the people who said, you are a good son, were making a simple observation based on their own beliefs. Based on what they saw.

As time went on, and the Alzheimer's started wearing me down, these words did start to take on a new meaning for me. They meant a great deal to me. I came to appreciate those words.

I realized that those words improved my day. They encouraged me. They encouraged me to keep on going on days when I needed a boost.

I now believe those words changed me. I now find it easier to accept praise. And, after all these years I appreciate those words of kindness. The Alzheimer's changed me and changed me for the better. It taught me to listen. Instead of thinking "how the hell do you know". I started listening and let those words sink in. I accepted those words in the way that they were offered.

Those few kind words helped me make it through the day. They energized me. They gave me a new and better opinion of myself. Those words made me feel "appreciated".

Those few simple words from a complete stranger lifted me up when I needed it the most.

I wrote this for all the good sons, daughters, spouses, and Alzheimer's caregivers out there.

You are a good person. I don't need to know you or meet you in person to mean and believe those words. I know it.

You have my admiration and respect. You are a good person.

PS... sometimes they said, you are a good grandson, I did like those words from the very beginning.

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Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob has written more than 2,200 articles with more than 270,500 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room

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