No, I am not telling you what that means, you go where the action is and then you tell me....By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room
That's Dotty in the sunglasses, at the Banana Boat.
Yesterday, I wrote about how Dotty remembered after a week that she won $50 at bingo. This made me think about communication with Dotty.
I am now remembering that when Dotty was first diagnosed, I thought I better get all the information about the past that I could out of Dotty.
At that time, it was particularly interesting talking to Dotty. She couldn't remember what she ate that day, but she could remember what she was doing in 1922. You have to remember, I was new to the Alzheimer's game at the time. So I was both curious about the disease and starting up the Alzheimer's learning curve. In some ways, you could say I was fascinated.
One night I am talking to Dotty and asking her about her father William Watts. Next thing I know we are discussing what he did for work.
Dotty then tells me how she remembers going to work with her father. He delivered products to corner grocery stores. Might not sound like much until we get to part where Dotty is riding with him on the horse drawn truck while at work with him. This was something I never knew or ever heard about.
Next Dotty tells me about how the store owners use to give her things, like candy. I try to imagine Dotty climbing out of the truck to go into the store. Dotty is a shrimp to start out with -- five feet tall. Six years old? I see Dotty as 3 feet, two inches. That is one tiny Dotty.
Dotty has pictures of herself in the 1940s. She weighed 97 pounds. I believe it. She must have had an 18 inch waist. Imagine that ladies. I would tell you Dotty's current waist size but I don't want to get sued by Dotty.
This story is reminding me of another story that is a bit off track. I remember back in 2001 when Dotty announced to the world at a big family party that she was English. Everybody looked at me with a look of shock on their face. I told them, she has been saying this for a few years. They couldn't believe it. Dotty's mother was full blood Italian, and her father was full blood English. Well I am not sure about her father. I better ask my cousin Carol.
Mild cognitive impairment?
OK, lets get back on track. At one point, it was like Dotty and I were living in a cave. Her friends were not calling her much and only Josie was coming by to see us. We could go days, just me and Dotty. Then we started going to the gym. But, we could still goes days with out seeing anyone other then at the gym.
I did make a few observations. Dotty could walk better then it appeared. While on a treadmill she can hold on to the bar(s). Dotty seemed to be responding very well to the exercise, bright light, and limited social activity. Another benefit --her legs got stronger, her balance improved, and she stopping falling.
Soon the light bulb went on in my head.
This is when Dotty and I started going to the Banana Boat restaurant. They have a big outdoor bar that sits out on the water. You can eat, drink and listen to live music. Pretty soon people start talking to Dotty. Dotty started talking right back. Some of the stories were excellent. A figment of her imagination but still wonderful to hear. Well after I finally got over my own hang-up. I got hung-up because Dotty was telling lies. Imagine that. What I knucklehead I was.
It took a while but finally I came to a simple realization. It really didn't matter what Dotty said, it did matter that Dotty was talking. Talking to complete strangers at times. Its the socialization stupid (I'm talking to myself here).
This is when I was discovering the importance of bright light and socialization on Dotty. This lead me to one of my most important conclusions.
Dotty and I would begin living our life as we always had and damn the torpedoes.You need to remember there are two parts to this equation -- Dotty and me. Soon I learned another important lesson. The better Dotty's day, the better Bobby's day.
By the way, a trip to the Banana Boat is like a vacation for Dotty and me. It is going to get warm soon and Dotty and I will reappear at the the Banana Boat for the first time in a long time. Last year, after the season ended we started going downtown to Vic and Angelo's. Dotty and I decided we were burned out on the BB after three years. So we moved our act to Vic and Angelo's.
Vic and Angelo's has great chicken wings. We might also venture across the street to the new outdoor place that opened up --burgers, ribs, wings and live music. They also have a brand new place that serves Maine Lobster rolls -- we are there.
I should interject. Dotty is going to be 94 soon. I finally got her use to being 93. I don't think she is going to like hearing me telling people she is 94. Its fun telling people Dotty is 93. Usually their eyes pop out of their head. They can't believe Dotty is out in the world at her age. Dotty is a good role model.
Communication with someone suffering from Alzheimer's is important. It is obvious that someone suffering from Alzheimer's can't tell you what day it is. On the other hand, they love to talk about the past. Go where the action is.
People suffering from Alzheimer's love to go out. Start living your life -- damn the torpedo's, go where the action is.
I'll let you in on a little secret. You go where the action is and your are going to find out some things you never knew about yourself.
No, I am not telling you what that means, you go where the action is and then you tell me.
A lack of social stimulation is harmful for people with dementia. It exaggerates the impact of the condition. It can lead to depression and it encourages people to withdraw into themselves.....
- Advice and Insight -- Alzheimer's Caregiving
- Dementia and the Eight Types of Dementia
- Does the Combination of Aricept and Namenda Help Slow the Rate of Decline in Alzheimer's Patients
- Communicating in Alzheimer's World
- Test Your Memory (TYM) for Alzheimer's or Dementia in Five Minutes
- Dr Oz Alzheimer's Memory Quiz (Test)
- Alzheimer's Clock Draw Test -- Detect the Signs of Alzheimer's Early
- Is it Really Alzheimer's or Something Else?
- 60 Good Reasons to Subscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room
Bob DeMarco is the editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob has written more than 1,200 articles with more than 9,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.
Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room
