Nov 19, 2011

Dotty Says, Most Doctors are Quacks

Bobby says, I am a lovable character. I also heard him say that I am a "b!tch". I have to admit I don't remember him saying that in a long time.

By Dorothy DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dotty Says, Most Doctors are Quacks
I guess I feel the same way about Bobby. Bobby is a good son. Bobby is also a "pain in the butt sometimes".

Bobby is always taking me to the doctor. I don't want to go to the doctor -- ever. Most doctors are "quacks". All they really want is your money.

I have to admit when Bobby takes me to the doctor we always get our monies worth. He has this darn book and he opens it up and starts going down the list - one by one.

Dotty had some severe headaches....blah blah blah. Dotty hands are trembling....blah blah blah. Hey, I am right here you bozo's. Right in the room. Can't you see me?

If the doctor would ask me I would set her straight. There is nothing wrong with me. I am a healthy old broad. And, I don't want that damn B-12 shot either.

As usual Bobby is looking over my shoulder right now. He wants me to tell you the doctor does ask me first how I am doing. I don't remember that happening.

This so called blog thing is making me hungry. I don't want to hear any crap about how I just had eggs, bacon, toast, coffee, orange juice and a cinnamon bun. I did not have a damn thing to eat today. Who's stomach is it anyway?

Speaking of my stomach. Bobby has this new thing. He says how's the baby doing and he pats my stomach. How's the baby? The only baby in this house is Bobby. After he pats my stomach he goes "uh oh". Three guesses what he says next? He says, you need to take a poop.

You know what? There is only one person that is full of poop in this house. Have you ever seen Bobby's eyes? They are brown.

The other day I had a back ache. Bobby comes over and pats my stomach (he didn't ask about the baby). He goes "uh oh". You need to take a poop. WHAT?

Bobby claims that when I get all full of ca ca, my stomach pushes on my spine and it gives me a back ache. He also says something about gravity. Bobby should wear an apple on his head.

We gotta stop watching that Dr Oz show. If they put Dr Oz and Bobby in the same room all they would talk about is poop.

Bobby likes to tell people he is adopted. Let me tell you this. Bobby wasn't adopted. He was a big surprise though. This explains why he is much younger then his brother and sister.

Before I forget.

I asked Bobby where my check was for all this work I am doing on this so called blog. You know what he did? He handed me a tiny mound bar and said here is a partial payment.

Mound bar? How about a big basket of French fries with some chicken wings on the side? Or a cheese steak with fries.

I have a lot more to say but I have to go, I'm getting weak. I'm starving. We must be poor. Its hard to get something to eat in this joint.

Dorothy DeMarco is a contributing writer and frequently portrayed character on the Alzheimer's Reading Room. To read Dorothy's blog go here. Dotty resides in Delray Beach, FL.

Related content.

Original content Dorothy DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room