Dotty, Dotty. Get out here, get out here...By Dorothy DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room
I'm back. Did you miss me?
Here I am again on this so called blog. Bobby says my fans are asking for me. Fans? Am I going to be the next American Idol?
Bobby says, my fans are worried because I was very sick. Sick? I'm a healthy old broad. Hold on a minute, Bobby says I have to take this hand full of pills.
Bobby tells me, he can tell how I am feeling by how many times a day I say -- I'm hungry, I'm starving.
I'm hungry, I'm starving. Kiss my ass Bobby.
Bobby says I am not allowed to curse on this so called blog.
Let's see. No cursing. No driving. No food in this joint. And, a hand full of pills. Ain't life wonderful.
There is some good news. I'm hungry. No not that. Bobby got me a parrot. I liked it so much, we now have two parrots.
Those parrots never stop talking. They could drive you crazy.
The other day the big fat, mean looking parrot, what is his name Bobby? Harvey.
Harvey was sick. He didn't talk at all for a couple of days. I guess Bobby took him to the doctor because now he won't stop talking.
On the other hand, his brother, or son, or whatever, was talking away. What is his name? Petey.
Petey is s sweet little bird. Although, he doesn't seem as smart as Harvey.
Sometimes he doesn't speak full sentences. Maybe he'll get smarter when he gets older. I hope he doesn't get that mean look like Harvey has on his face. Bobby says, that is what happens to some people when they get old.
Kiss my ass Bobby.
I'm thinking about taking my parrot for a walk. Bobby asked me, how are you going to do that? Duh. Put a leash on him and take him for a walk.
My son Bobby is always thinking about business. Want to hear his latest and greatest idea?
He said he is going to get a little table and chair. Then he is going to put Harvey and me out in front of the supermarket, Publix. He is going to put a little tin cup on the table. Can you imagine this?
He says people will come by and put money in the tin cup. Now you are talking. Bobby also said he will put some shades on me. That is Bobby speak for sun glasses. He claims this will create a good effect.
I asked him, how much can I make for looking like a fool. He says, who knows? Sit there long enough and you might make $20. Twenty dollars? What the hell are we waiting for?
I'll take my $20 buy some potato chips and mounds bars and off I go to the casino.
Bobby wants to know how I am going to get to the casino? Same way I always get there. Chauffeur.
You know there are some benefits to this old age things. I didn't like not driving at first. But, how many old people do you know that have a Chauffeur, cook, butler and maid? As usual Bobby wants to chime in. He says, don't forget the poop and pee. Uh okay, whatever the hell that means.
Sometimes you just gotta look beyond the obvious. I know I complain a lot. But, when I actually take the time to think about it -- being old does have some benefits.
Well I would stay around longer and talk with you but there really is no upside right now. Bobby says, I earned my egg, bacon, and toast. Big deal.
Ok, he left. Bobby thinks he is pulling a fast one on me with this so called blog thing.
I ask you? Who is the smart one here? Just remember this. I'm the chicken and he is the egg.
See ya soon. I'm feeling good these days. Uh Oh, there goes that nutty parrot calling me.
Dotty, Dotty. Get out here, get out here.
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Original content Dorothy DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room