Aug 17, 2011

Should I Apologize for Something I Didn't Do

If I apologize she will think I am admitting to the act. I do not want her to think I can get into her house without her letting me in.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Our reader asked an interesting and intriguing question (see the question below). I put this up in the hopes that some of you could share your own experience, insight and advice on or around this issue.

Some things to consider. What is more important? The feelings of the person living with dementia (the patient)? Or, the feelings of the Alzheimer's caregiver? Or, both.

Do you think the caregiver will have success trying to reason with the Alzheimer's patient?

How important is it for the caregiver to make the patient understand that she did not steal anything, and never would? How should she go about dealing with this issue?


Should the caregiver feel guilty?

Is their anyway that the caregiver can help the patient to understand that nothing is being stolen and then returned?

How would you deal with this behavior?

What advice and insight can you share with this caregiver?

If you write a comment longer than 100 words, I suggest you send it to me as article. Use the contact button at the top of the page,  and put these two words in the subject box -- Article Submit.

You can write under your own name, or you can write an anonymous article.

Our reader asks for insight and advice.

I am a caregiver. My client is 79 years old and lives alone. I work from 9am to 7 pm. Three days ago my client misplaced her laundry. The next morning she found it. She believes I took it and then got back into her house and returned it.

She wants me to apologize for doing something I did not do. If I apologize she will think I am admitting to the act. I do not want her to think I can get into her house without her letting me in.

She believes everything that she misplaces has been stolen and then returned when she finds them.

I am trying to redirect her thinking but she is so angry that she is ignoring me.

Any ideas on how to handle this situation?

Any thoughts are appreciated.




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Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room