May 21, 2012

Dotty is Still With Us, Telling It Like It Is

Can there be any greater act than after caring for a person for a very long time -- then, being with them when the end is very close? When the end comes you really don't have to do much -- just be there with them.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dotty
Some people are speculating that things here in Delray Beach might be worse than I am letting on. That the situation is chaotic, and that I might be under more stress than I am letting on.

Not true.

I am not saying it is easy, but I am not frightened, and I don't think Dotty is frightened.

Soon Dotty will reach the end of her physical life here on earth. Hopefully, when the bridge to the next life opens, and the light shines bright, I'll be there to help Dotty cross the bridge.

Just like I have been helping Dotty for a long time. I want to be there right at the end. Very badly. I need to be there.

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I wish I could explain my beliefs in a more understandable way.

It is my believe that death is the natural end of life. A part of life. So right now we are still living our life. As always.

People are dying every day, why is it so hard to accept or understand?

Last night I thought of all the stars up in the sky. I think of all those stars as Alzheimer's caregivers. I also think about the dark blue area between the stars. To me, this is where the deeply forgotten reside. You can see the deeply forgotten in the dark blue, but you need a telescope. They are there.

For me, Dotty is leaving her physical body soon. But she will certainly live on. She will live on in my memory. I wouldn't be surprised if we get a visit from Dotty right here in the Alzheimer's Reading Room at some point in the future. I am pretty sure we will.

Dotty's spirit will live on, just you wait and see.

I am certain when Dotty leaves her physical body, I am going to feel lonely. I will certainly miss her saying, Bobby Bobby, Bobby. Or, YouWho I am awake you know. I'm sure I'll miss her saying, I'm Hungry, I'm Starving; and, kiss my ass Bobby.

I suppose I'll feel sad. But, I don't think that will last long. Why? Because I have millions of positive memories. I'll be thinking of all the good stuff. I'll be writing about all the things Dotty taught me in these last eight plus years.

I have written before that I believe we get to choose. I chose. I'm here.

Can there be any greater act than after caring for a person for a very long time that you are there when the end is very close? When the end comes you really don't have to do much -- just be there with them.

I guess you could look at it this way. I wouldn't even be alive if it were not for Dotty. I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for Dotty. I'm happy being here. I'm exciting about what is coming next. Trust me, Dotty is happy for me.

I want to make this clear. The shiny star called Dotty, the physical being will burn out soon. But I'll still be able to see her and so will you. All you will need to do is look between the stars. There she is.

Forever and a day.

Dotty is looking a bit pale.

This might surprise you. Here is what Doty had to say today when she received flowers from Carole Larkin. Click the arrow and listen.




Really surprised me if you want to know the truth. Or, did it?



More Insight and Advice from the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 3,511 articles with more than 297,100 links on the Internet. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room