Let me ask you how you would feel if I constantly corrected you? Would you feel ashamed or embarrassed?
By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room
Alzheimer's caregivers often have a problem accepting that a person living with Alzheimer's does not remember.
We know they can't remember, yet in spite of this, we often become frustrated and sometimes angry when they repeat themselves.
Why would we be angry if we know this is going to happen? It is bound to happen over and over. It comes with the caregiver territory.
The bigger issue for many caregivers is the need to correct someone living with dementia.
Let me ask you how you would feel if I constantly corrected you? Would you eventually feel ashamed or embarrassed?
Have you ever heard the term self concept? Self concept refers to how you perceive yourself; and as a natural extension, how others perceive you.
Ever met someone with a negative self concept?
If you constantly correct, or berate someone with dementia what is going to happen? It is likely that they will become very negative. They might become hard to deal with or worse. One thing is certain, you will add to their confusion.
Let me ask you this. Would you like someone who constantly corrected you? Or, would you dislike them? Which is more likely?
How would you like to be treated if you were suffering from an increased memory loss?
I am now going to suggest that you read (or reread) this article
which I wrote many years ago after my own epiphany that something had to change and that
That Something Was Me.
Quite frankly, the rules we live by in the real world just don't apply in
And why should they? Should we judge people who can't remember the here and right now very well by the same rules that apply to us - the Alzheimer's care partners?
Or instead, should we willing adjust our own communication to allow for the confusion and discombobulation that often accompanies dementia?
Remember these words: kindness, respect, vulnerability, human being, reassurance.
Instead of correcting the patient living with dementia, try and remember they are suffering from memory loss.
Be a guide.
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Alzheimer's Care, I Cannot Get a Minute for Myself
Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room (ARR). Bob is a recognized Influencer, speaker, and expert in the Alzheimer's and Dementia Community Worldwide. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.
Original content the Alzheimer's Reading Room
Alzheimer's disease affects memory, thinking, concentration, and judgment, and ultimately impedes a person’s ability to perform normal daily activities.