Jun 22, 2017

How to Communicate with a Person Who is Deeply Forgetful

It is safe to say that less is more when communicating with a person who is deeply forgetful - a person living with Alzheimer's or related dementia.


You have to learn how to communicate with a person living with dementia.
By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

One thing I realized when I was caring for Dotty was that if I came up on her quickly and started talking fast she sometimes looked bewildered.

There I was talking away and it seemed like she had not yet realized where I came from.

Obviously, I was about three blocks down the street before she took her own first cognitive step.


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Those who are deeply forgetful, living with Alzheimer's or a related dementia, don't process information the way we do.


I really don't know how much thought Alzheimer's caregivers give to the ways in which they talk and communicate with the person for whom they are caring.

Most caregivers do come to the understanding that they need to talk slower; and, need to focus on one issue at a time.

Nonverbal cues such as smiling and making eye contact are important before beginning a conversation with a person who is deeply forgetful. Before you talk, you need to let them know you are there, and want their attention.


If you want to get a person living with dementia to cooperate -- to take their medication, take a pee, or take a shower, you really do need to learn to smile, be patient, and keep the number of words to a minimum. I don't know about you, but I am more predisposed to listen when a person smiles and makes eye contact first.


It is safe to say that less is more when communicating with a person who is deeply forgetful.

Consider this.

As we age, all us lose function across our own cognitive system. We are not usually as good at problem solving, new learning, thinking, attention, memory, perception, motor control, and concept formation as we were when we were younger. This is a simple fact of the aging process.

In the case of those who are becoming increasingly deeply forgetful this phenomena of loss of cognitive function is exacerbated.


If you are having problems communicating or getting a person who is deeply forgetful to do what you want them to do you should consider making an inventory of the way you are communicating.

Make eye contact. Smile. Speak slower. Use less words.


Most important of all be patient. In Alzheimer's World everything moves slower, and this includes you, the caregiver.

Put on a happy face and slow down.

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Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room (ARR).

The Alzheimer's Reading Room contains more than 5,000 articles and has been published daily since July, 2009.

Article from Alzheimer's Reading Room


How to Get Answers To Your Questions About Alzheimer's and Dementia

About the Deeply Forgetful


Dotty though deeply forgetful could still remember the past.

The deeply forgetful are capable of more than we can imagine.

You can help a person living with dementia to remember the things they do. After a while they just get on what can best be described as "automatic pilot". From that point on you become their guide.

The tendency is to focus in on what Alzheimer's patients can't do; rather than, on what they can do.

New Alzheimer's caregivers and the general public often assume that the situation for Alzheimer's and dementia patients is hopeless.