related_results_labels({"version":"1.0","encoding":"UTF-8","feed":{"xmlns":"http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom","xmlns$openSearch":"http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearchrss/1.0/","xmlns$georss":"http://www.georss.org/georss","xmlns$thr":"http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0","id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471983413705881126"},"updated":{"$t":"2010-09-09T13:52:39.916-04:00"},"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Alzheimer's Reading Room"},"subtitle":{"type":"html","$t":"The Alzheimers Reading Room has clear, concise, usable news, research, insight and advice for the entire Alzheimers community. The website focuses on those suffering from Alzheimers disease and Dementia, Alzheimers caregivers, and the art of Alzheimers caregiving. 100 Million people have been touched by Alzheimer's disease, and 35 million are worried about Alzheimer's."},"link":[{"rel":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005#feed","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/feeds/posts/default"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/-/advice?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026max-results\u003d5"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/search/label/advice"},{"rel":"hub","href":"http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/"},{"rel":"next","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/-/advice/-/advice?alt\u003djson-in-script\u0026start-index\u003d6\u0026max-results\u003d5"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Bob DeMarco"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/14861703129474871916"},"email":{"$t":"rtdemarco@gmail.com"}}],"generator":{"version":"7.00","uri":"http://www.blogger.com","$t":"Blogger"},"openSearch$totalResults":{"$t":"106"},"openSearch$startIndex":{"$t":"1"},"openSearch$itemsPerPage":{"$t":"5"},"entry":[{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471983413705881126.post-2233900808744103603"},"published":{"$t":"2010-09-06T08:39:00.001-04:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2010-09-06T08:40:19.559-04:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"mental"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"blog"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"patient"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"tips"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Alzheimer's disease"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"dementia"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"list"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Alzheimer’s"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"advice"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"caregiver"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Communicating"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Ten Tips for Communicating with an Alzheimer’s Patient"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003eDo not argue with them. It gets you nowhere......\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003eBy Carole Larkin\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eEver feel like your loved one is ignoring you or that you just weren’t getting through to your loved one? Try some of these tips to see if they help.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca name\u003d'more'\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eTips for communicating with a mid-stage (or later) Alzheimer’s patient.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"213\" src\u003d\"http://static.flickr.com/2322/2098283991_e34bb34852.jpg\" width\u003d\"320\" /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eMake eye contact.\u003c/b\u003e  Always approach them face-to-face and make eye contact. Use their name if you need to. It is vital that they actually see you and that their attention is focused on you. Read their eyes. Always approach from the front as approaching and speaking from the side or from behind can startle them.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eBe at their level.\u003c/b\u003e  Move your head to be at the same level as their head. Bend your knees or sit down to reach their level. Do not stand or hover over them – it is intimidating and scary. They can’t focus on you and what you are saying if they are focused on their fear.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eTell them what you are going to do before you do it.\u003c/b\u003e Particularly if you are going to touch them. They need to know what is coming first so that they don’t think that you are grabbing them.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eSpeak calmly.\u003c/b\u003e  Always speak in a calm manner with an upbeat tone of voice, even if you don’t feel that way. If you sound angry or agitated, they will often mirror that feeling back to you and then some.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eSpeak slowly. \u003c/b\u003e Speak at one half of your normal speed when talking to them. Take a breath between each sentence. They can not process words as fast as non-diseased people can. Give them a chance to catch up to your words.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eSpeak in short sentences.\u003c/b\u003e  Speak in short direct sentences with only one idea to a sentence. Usually they can only focus on only one idea at a time.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eOnly ask one question at a time.\u003c/b\u003e Let them answer it before you ask another question. You can ask who, what, where and when, but NOT why. Why is too complicated. They will try to answer, fail and get frustrated.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eDon’t say “remember”.\u003c/b\u003e Many times they will not be able to do so, and you are just pointing out to them their shortcomings. That is insulting, and can cause anger and/or embarrassment.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eTurn negatives into positives.\u003c/b\u003e For example say “Let’s go here” instead of “Don’t go there”. Be inclusive and don’t talking down to them as if they were a child. Respect the fact that they are an adult, and treat them as such.\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003eDo not argue with them.\u003c/b\u003e It gets you nowhere. Instead, validate their feelings, by saying” I see that you are angry (sad, upset, etc…). It lets them know that they are not alone and then redirect them into another thought. For example “It sounds like you miss your mother (husband, father, etc…). You love them very much, don’t you?  Tell me about the time…” Then ask for one of their favorite stories about that person).\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cform action\u003d\"http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify\" method\u003d\"post\" onsubmit\u003d\"window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri\u003dTheAlzheimersReadingRoom', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars\u003dyes,width\u003d495,height\u003d468');return true\" style\u003d\"border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 2 px; text-align: center;\" target\u003d\"popupwindow\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSubscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/b\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eEnter Your Email Address\u003c/b\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"email\" style\u003d\"width: 200px;\" type\u003d\"text\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"uri\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"TheAlzheimersReadingRoom\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"loc\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"en_US\" /\u003e\u003cinput type\u003d\"submit\" value\u003d\"Subscribe\" /\u003e\u003c/form\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003eMore About the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/about-alzheimers-reading-room.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/advice-and-insight-alzheimers.html\"\u003eAdvice and Insight -- Alzheimer's Caregiving\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/01/what-is-alzheimers-disease.html\"\u003eWhat is Alzheimer's Disease ?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/conquering-urinary-incontinence-first.html\"\u003eConquering Urinary Incontinence\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/alzheimers-and-dreaded-bowel-movement.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's and the Dreaded Bowel Movement\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/09/dementia-and-eight-types-of-dementia.html\"\u003eDementia and the Eight Types of Dementia\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/does-combination-of-aricept-and-namenda.html\"\u003eDoes the Combination of Aricept and Namenda Help Slow the Rate of Decline in Alzheimer's Patients\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/12/communicating-in-alzheimers-world.html\"\u003eCommunicating in  Alzheimer's World\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/06/test-your-memory-tym-for-alzheimers-or.html\"\u003eTest Your Memory (TYM) for Alzheimer's or Dementia in Five Minutes\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/01/dr-oz-memory-quiz-test.html\"\u003eDr Oz Alzheimer's Memory Quiz (Test)\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/12/alzheimers-clock-draw-test-detect-signs.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Clock Draw Test -- Detect the Signs of Alzheimer's Early\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/03/is-it-really-alzheimers-or-something.html\"\u003eIs it Really Alzheimer's or Something Else?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/alzheimers-reading-room-testimonials.html\"\u003e60 Good Reasons to Subscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312355394?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dactionplan-20\"\u003e\u003cimg alt\u003d\"\" border\u003d\"0\" src\u003d\"http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51ZIhAkDKZL._SL500_AA250_.jpg\" style\u003d\"margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;\" /\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/center\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0312355394?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dactionplan-20\" style\u003d\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003eThe Alzheimer's Action Plan: The Experts' Guide to the Best Diagnosis and Treatment for Memory Problems\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"75\" imageanchor\u003d\"1\" src\u003d\"http://thirdageservices.com/images/Larkin122008.jpg\" style\u003d\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\" width\u003d\"75\" /\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://thirdageservices.com/about/about.htm\"\u003eCarole Larkin  MAG, CMC, DCP, EICS  \u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/span\u003eis a geriatric care manager who specializes in helping families with Alzheimer’s and related dementias issues. She also trains caregivers in home care companies, assisted livings, memory care communities, and nursing homes in dementia specific techniques for best care of dementia sufferers. Her company, \u003ca href\u003d\"http://thirdageservices.com/\"\u003eThirdAge Services LLC\u003c/a\u003e, is located in Dallas, TX.\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eOriginal content Carole Larkin, the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/ten-tips-for-communicating-with.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6471983413705881126-2233900808744103603?l\u003dwww.alzheimersreadingroom.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"related","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/ten-tips-for-communicating-with.html","title":"Ten Tips for Communicating with an Alzheimer’s Patient"},{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/feeds/2233900808744103603/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/ten-tips-for-communicating-with.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/2233900808744103603"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/2233900808744103603"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/ten-tips-for-communicating-with.html","title":"Ten Tips for Communicating with an Alzheimer’s Patient"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Bob DeMarco"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/14861703129474871916"},"email":{"$t":"rtdemarco@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"02937219926706406775"}}],"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471983413705881126.post-9182605371559300496"},"published":{"$t":"2010-08-30T20:22:00.009-04:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2010-08-30T20:40:18.898-04:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"symptoms"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"tips"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life news"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"alzheimer's caregiving"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"advice"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Urinary Incontinence"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Alzheimer's Caregiving Dealing with Urinary Incontinence (Part Five)"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003eBy Carole B. Larkin\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/i\u003e \u003cbr /\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/i\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003ePreviously I wrote --  \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregiving-avoiding-urinary.html\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eAlzheimer's Caregiving Avoiding the Urinary Tract Infection (Part Four).\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eNow let's move on to Incontinence.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIncontinence is usually a part of Alzheimer’s and other dementias because many times in the diseases the portion of the brain that controls our “muscle memory” gets damaged and slowly dies. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca name\u003d'more'\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"132\" src\u003d\"http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/S-a4wuuNw4I/AAAAAAAACLQ/mWBSLXJ5QfA/s200/Carole+B+larkin.jpg\" style\u003d\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\" width\u003d\"106\" /\u003eWhen that portion of the brain gets damaged, the brain can no longer send the signals needed to make muscles work as they are supposed to. That includes the muscles serving the bladder and the sphincter. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIf the brain doesn’t send the message to contract and hold urine and feces in then you have a problem that takes special attention and consideration.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIncontinence is a process (usually), not an overnight change.  The results of periodic incontinence can be proactively addressed and the problem can be solved or lessened. However, the caregiver must be willing to make a serious concerted effort to solve the problem.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eEach person has their own urinary/bowel pattern (as Bob calls it) or rhythm (as I call it). \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIt generally calls for voiding urine every two hours or so and voiding fecal matter an average 2-3 times a day. (Higher numbers for men I think. Don’t ask me why. I don’t know!). \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eYou can determine your loved one’s rhythm by just paying attention to when they go daily and writing it down in a log. The pattern will show up after a week or so. Then, the answer is, take them to the bathroom just before it’s time. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eYou do this consistently, religiously, every day, and it eventually becomes a pattern itself. You do this in spite of the \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003e“I don’t have to go now response.”\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOr, if it’s a, battle, don’t ask! Try \u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003e“Mom come here. I have something to show you,”\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003ewhile you are at the bathroom door. Then when she’s in the room, show her something in there like a magazine or some other item she will be interested in and close the door.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eYou are either inside with mom or not, depending on what mom will tolerate. If she needs help undressing, you are inside the room. Likewise, if she needs help wiping after urinating (from front to back) you are inside, if she needs help wiping after a bowel movement, you are there --to make sure she is clean. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSome other ways to get mom to the bathroom at the appropriate time are: taking a walk around the house for exercise and ending up in front of the bathroom door while saying \u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003e“Well, look where we are! Let’s try to go!”\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/center\u003e The above is  is called a toileting schedule in the eldercare business.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIn some cases you might have to offer a \"bribe\" to get someone to cooperate. The goal is to establish a pattern, so anything that helps accomplish the goal is worth it.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSome people need to be distracted while on the toilet, to keep them sitting there instead of jumping up before they go. Give them something to hold in their hand like a washcloth. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIf they keep jumping up, ask or help them to sit back down again the first few times. If nothing happens, ok maybe they don’t really have to go. Try again later. Some people shouldn’t be distracted with anything while sitting there. After a few trials, you’ll know what your mom needs. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhen the problem occurs at night, set an alarm for every 3-4 hours to wake you so that you can take mom to the bathroom. Soon enough you will know what her voiding schedule is during sleeping hours. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eTo make it easier, you may want to put a toilet chair next to her bed. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI don’t recommend using the same toilet chair as a shower seat, because when you do, you are actually saying to them that it is ok to urinate and/or defecate in the shower, by providing them the tool to do it in. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eLikewise, starting incontinence underwear because it’s convenient for YOU, really says to them, it’s ok to go in your pants.\u003c/b\u003e Use them when it’s clear that the problem is lack of “muscle memory”, and try not to use them before except in unusual situations, like travelling.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI’m sure that some of you have other tricks that work with mom to head off incontinence and UTI’s.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eLet’s hear from you.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ciframe allowtransparency\u003d\"true\" frameborder\u003d\"0\" scrolling\u003d\"no\" src\u003d\"http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href\u003dhttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.alzheimersreadingroom.com\u0026amp;layout\u003dstandard\u0026amp;show_faces\u003dtrue\u0026amp;width\u003d450\u0026amp;action\u003drecommend\u0026amp;colorscheme\u003dlight\u0026amp;height\u003d80\" style\u003d\"border: none; height: 80px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;\"\u003e\u003c/iframe\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eAlso Read\u003c/b\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ch3\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregiving-dealing-with.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Caregiving : Dealing with Bladder Infections and Urinary Incontinence (Part One)\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregving-role-of.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Caregving: The Role of Communication and Basic Understanding  in Solving Incontinence Problems (Part Two)\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregving-how-cranberry.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Caregving: How Cranberry Juice Fights Bacteria that Cause Urinary Tract Infections (Part Three)\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregiving-avoiding-urinary.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Caregiving Avoiding the Urinary Tract Infection (Part Four)\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/h3\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"100\" src\u003d\"http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/S-a4wuuNw4I/AAAAAAAACLQ/mWBSLXJ5QfA/s200/Carole+B+larkin.jpg\" style\u003d\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\" width\u003d\"81\" /\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eCarole Larkin  MAG, CMC, DCP, EICS \u003c/b\u003e\u003c/span\u003eis a geriatric care manager who specializes in helping families with Alzheimer’s and related dementias issues. She also trains caregivers in home care companies, assisted livings, memory care communities, and nursing homes in dementia specific techniques for best care of dementia sufferers. \u003ca href\u003d\"http://thirdageservices.com/\"\u003eThirdAge Services LLC\u003c/a\u003e, is located in Dallas, TX.\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cform action\u003d\"http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify\" method\u003d\"post\" onsubmit\u003d\"window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri\u003dTheAlzheimersReadingRoom', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars\u003dyes,width\u003d495,height\u003d468');return true\" style\u003d\"border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 2 px; text-align: center;\" target\u003d\"popupwindow\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: large;\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: teal;\"\u003eSubscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/span\u003e \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eEnter Your Email Address\u003c/b\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"email\" style\u003d\"width: 200px;\" type\u003d\"text\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"uri\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"TheAlzheimersReadingRoom\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"loc\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"en_US\" /\u003e\u003cinput type\u003d\"submit\" value\u003d\"Subscribe\" /\u003e\u003c/form\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003eMore About the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/about-alzheimers-reading-room.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/advice-and-insight-alzheimers.html\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: #058b7b;\"\u003eAlzheimer's Caregivers Advice and Insight (20 articles)\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/topic-test-your-memory-for-alzheimers.html\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: #058b7b;\"\u003eTest Your Memory for Alzheimer's (5 Best Self Assessment Tests)\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/alzheimers-statistics.html\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: #058b7b;\"\u003eAlzheimer's Disease Statistics\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/what-is-alzheimers-what-are-eight-types.html\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: #058b7b;\"\u003eWhat is Alzheimer's? What are the Eight Types of Dementia?\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/alzheimers-and-driving.html\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: #058b7b;\"\u003eAlzheimer's and Driving\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/alzheimers-caregiving-dealing-with.html\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: #058b7b;\"\u003eAlzheimer's Caregiving Dealing with Behavior\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL150_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003dB002KHMZQ8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzside-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Alzheimers-Action-Plan-Diagnosis-Treatment/dp/B002KHMZQ8?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzside-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Alzheimer's Action Plan\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd width\u003d\"32\"\u003e\u0026nbsp; \u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL150_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003d1932603166\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzside-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Caregivers-Guide-Alzheimers-Disease-Making/dp/1932603166?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzside-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e300 Tips for Making Life Easier\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003c/center\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: large;\"\u003eOriginal content Carole Larkin, the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregiving-dealing-with_30.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6471983413705881126-9182605371559300496?l\u003dwww.alzheimersreadingroom.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/feeds/9182605371559300496/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregiving-dealing-with_30.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/9182605371559300496"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/9182605371559300496"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/08/alzheimers-caregiving-dealing-with_30.html","title":"Alzheimer's Caregiving Dealing with Urinary Incontinence (Part Five)"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Bob DeMarco"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/14861703129474871916"},"email":{"$t":"rtdemarco@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"02937219926706406775"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/S-a4wuuNw4I/AAAAAAAACLQ/mWBSLXJ5QfA/s72-c/Carole+B+larkin.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471983413705881126.post-6717971358703484454"},"published":{"$t":"2010-07-30T14:08:00.004-04:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2010-08-22T19:29:21.612-04:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"blackwell"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"insight"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Alzheimer's disease"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life news"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"bob"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"advice"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"carol"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"“We’re Still Having Fun and You’re Still the One”"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003e“If you face a difficult situation, you have two choices.  You can change the situation or, if you can’t do that, you must change yourself to meet the situation.”....\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003eBy Carol Blackwell\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: x-small;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eYesterday was our anniversary.  Bob and I have been married 43 years. That’s a long time.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"210\" src\u003d\"http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/TFL5qDrgnqI/AAAAAAAACVI/LhrpIaHKWuA/s320/Bob+and+Carol+Blackwell+Michigan.JPG\" width\u003d\"320\" /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003eBob and Carol Blackwell\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca name\u003d'more'\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBob and I met at the University of Michigan during my junior year when I took Political Science, a required course.  I put  off taking the course for the first two years as I wasn’t interested in the topic. I much preferred history.  However, I became somewhat more interested in the topic when I entered the small group discussion part of the course led by a grad student.   I thought he and his southern accent were cute and his knowledge of the subject was mind boggling. I had a less favorable impression after I received a C+ in the course.    \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eMy thoughts of revenge on the poor grad student were mollified when he called a few weeks after the course was over and asked me for a date.  We married about a year later.  We began our life together in married housing at the University in a one bedroom efficiency apartment.  The “kitchen” was a tiny stove and mini fridge on one end of the living room and you couldn’t open the bedroom dresser without moving the bed.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBob received a job offer from Emory University in Atlanta after completing his Ph.D and we moved to his hometown.  This time, I was noted for my ‘accent’ but I don’t think anyone thought it was ‘cute.’ One of Bob’s friends commented that, after 6 years in the south, I had finally lost my ‘harsh mid-western twang’. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eOur two children were born in Atlanta and we enjoyed life there, but we moved to Washington, DC in 1975 when Bob was offered a job with the government.   Life was pretty good.  We had great kids (who recently presented us with marvelous grandchildren!) , supportive friends, and careers we both enjoyed. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWe looked forward to retirement from the government with a few years of post-retirement part time work .   That expectation was cut short after Bob’s diagnosis of Alzheimer’s in 2006, only a year after his retirement.  The diagnosis changed our lives.  He was no longer able to work at all and that was so hard for him---he loved being able to use his expertise and to feel he had contributed to projects---and, as an extrovert,  he loved working with others.   \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI read a quote a couple of years ago that really stuck with me.  It was something like, \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003e“If you face a difficult situation, you have two choices.  You can change the situation or, if you can’t do that, you must change yourself to meet the situation.” \u003c/b\u003e \u003c/blockquote\u003eI am still working on the changing myself part.  It is an ongoing project.  One thing that helps is to think about how I would like to be treated if I had the disease.  How would I want people to react to me? \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI would want people to be patient when I asked the same question several times in the course of a day.  I would want people to speak to me in a non- irritated tone of voice.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI would want people to take the time to listen carefully to me and make sure I was included in conversations.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI would want to be told I was loved, no matter what, even when I was confused. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSo what grade would I give myself in the current situation?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI give myself a C in “being patient when asked the same question several times a day”.  I am patient for the first couple of times, after that I am not so patient.  I am working hard on that one and hope to give myself at least a B this time next year.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI give myself a “B-“ in  not using an irritated tone of voice. I can tell by the way Bob looks at me that I need improvement in this area!\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI give myself an A- in “taking time to listen and be include him in conversations”.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI give myself an A+ in “being told I was loved.”\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBob and I are in this together.  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBob is doing the best he can with the disease and he deserves a spouse who helps him with it and meets him where he is.  I am working to be the person he deserves, but, quite truthfully, some days are easier than others.  Two days ago, as he was struggling to remember how to play cribbage, he looked up and said, “You just can’t imagine how much I hate what this (disease) has done to me.” \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI hate what it has done to him as well, but we live in hope. Somewhere there are researchers working on a cure for the disease---it can’t come too soon.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSo, here we are 43 years after we married in a small church in Flint, Michigan.  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhat did we do on our anniversary?  We are at the family cottage in northern Michigan, so it was more relaxing. We took our regular 3.2 mile walk in the morning to avoid the heat, and did some work in the cottage. Bob was pleased because he likes to help with projects here--he says it makes him feel useful. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eBob took a kayak trip down the river to try and get some photos of the elusive Blue Heron—it remained elusive. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWe went to dinner at a restaurant on the river, Gates AuSable Lodge—great food.  We sat at a table by the river and watched the birds at the feeders and the canoes coming by. It was a good day.    And, to coin a line from an old 60’s song:  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003e“After all these years, we’re still having fun and you’re still the one……” \u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"80\" src\u003d\"http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/S88XDgDv7gI/AAAAAAAACKY/Fgsf2uXMX6g/s320/Bob+and+Carol+Blackwell.JPG\" style\u003d\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\" width\u003d\"107\" /\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"mailto: lovriver@aol.com\"\u003eCarol Blackwell\u003c/a\u003e lives in Northern Virginia with her husband Bob. Bob was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2006.  Carol is a part time leadership coach and instructor. Both Carol and Bob are active advocates in the fight against Alzheimer's disease. Bob and Carol also blog on the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.usatoday.com/community/profile.htm?plckPersonaPage\u003dPersonaBlog\u0026amp;plckUserId\u003d1b7035cf54d97057\u0026amp;UID\u003d1b7035cf54d97057\"\u003eUSA Today website.\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ciframe allowtransparency\u003d\"true\" frameborder\u003d\"0\" scrolling\u003d\"no\" src\u003d\"http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href\u003dhttp%3A%2F%2Falzheimersreadingroom.com\u0026amp;layout\u003dstandard\u0026amp;show_faces\u003dtrue\u0026amp;width\u003d450\u0026amp;action\u003drecommend\u0026amp;font\u003dverdana\u0026amp;colorscheme\u003dlight\u0026amp;height\u003d80\" style\u003d\"border: none; height: 80px; overflow: hidden; width: 450px;\"\u003e\u003c/iframe\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cform action\u003d\"http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify\" method\u003d\"post\" onsubmit\u003d\"window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri\u003dTheAlzheimersReadingRoom', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars\u003dyes,width\u003d495,height\u003d468');return true\" style\u003d\"border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 2 px; text-align: center;\" target\u003d\"popupwindow\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: large;\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: teal;\"\u003eSubscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/span\u003e \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eEnter Your Email Address\u003c/b\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"email\" style\u003d\"width: 200px;\" type\u003d\"text\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"uri\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"TheAlzheimersReadingRoom\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"loc\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"en_US\" /\u003e\u003cinput type\u003d\"submit\" value\u003d\"Subscribe\" /\u003e\u003c/form\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003eMore About the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/about-alzheimers-reading-room.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/center\u003e \u003cb\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/alzheimers-reading-room-testimonials.html\"\u003e60 Good Reasons to Subscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room \u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/advice-and-insight-alzheimers.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's CareGiving -- Insight and Advice\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/topic-test-your-memory-for-alzheimers.html\"\u003eTest Your Memory for Alzheimer's (5 Best Self Assessment Tests)\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/12/communicating-in-alzheimers-world.html\"\u003eCommunicating in  Alzheimer's World\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/worried-about-alzheimers-disease.html\"\u003eWorried About Alzheimer's Disease -- You Should Be\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/what-is-alzheimers-what-are-eight-types.html\"\u003eWhat is Alzheimer's? What are the Eight Types of Dementia?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/does-combination-of-aricept-and-namenda.html\"\u003eDoes the Combination of Aricept and Namenda Help Slow the Rate of Decline in Alzheimer's Patients\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/alzheimers-statistics.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Disease Statistics\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/03/is-it-really-alzheimers-or-something.html\"\u003eIs it Really Alzheimer's or Something Else?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/05/ten-symptoms-of-early-stage-alzheimers.html\"\u003eTen Symptoms of Early Stage Alzheimer's\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/ten-tips-for-communicating-with.html\"\u003eTen Tips for Communicating with an Alzheimer’s Patient\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003c/b\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL120_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003dB002KHMZQ8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Alzheimers-Action-Plan-Diagnosis-Treatment/dp/B002KHMZQ8?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Alzheimer's Action Plan\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd width\u003d\"32\"\u003e\u0026nbsp; \u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL120_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003d1932603166\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Caregivers-Guide-Alzheimers-Disease-Making/dp/1932603166?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e300 Tips for Making Life Easier\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003c/center\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: large;\"\u003eOriginal content Carol Blackwell, the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/were-still-having-fun-and-youre-still.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6471983413705881126-6717971358703484454?l\u003dwww.alzheimersreadingroom.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"related","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/were-still-having-fun-and-youre-still.html","title":"“We’re Still Having Fun and You’re Still the One”"},{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/feeds/6717971358703484454/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/were-still-having-fun-and-youre-still.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/6717971358703484454"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/6717971358703484454"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/were-still-having-fun-and-youre-still.html","title":"“We’re Still Having Fun and You’re Still the One”"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Bob DeMarco"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/14861703129474871916"},"email":{"$t":"rtdemarco@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"02937219926706406775"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/TFL5qDrgnqI/AAAAAAAACVI/LhrpIaHKWuA/s72-c/Bob+and+Carol+Blackwell+Michigan.JPG","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471983413705881126.post-5865998628135294475"},"published":{"$t":"2010-07-01T09:12:00.017-04:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2010-07-06T20:41:09.095-04:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"alzheimer's"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"insight"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Alzheimer's disease"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"life news"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"health"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Alzheimer's Dementia"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"audio"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"advice"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"lament"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"caregiver"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"Alzheimer's Caregiver Lament -- This is Not the Person I Knew (Cinch Cast)"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003ci\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003eBy Bob DeMarco\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/i\u003e    \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/span\u003e   \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003eIn order to communicate effectively with a person suffering from Alzheimer's disease you need to come to an understanding that they are now living in a new world -- I often refer to this as Alzheimer's world....\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca name\u003d'more'\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"237\" src\u003d\"http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/TCydzB5ARBI/AAAAAAAACSs/9lP2MHnBhgM/s200/Egg.jpg\" width\u003d\"300\" /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cembed allowscriptaccess\u003d\"always\" flashvars\u003d\"file\u003dhttp:%2f%2fwww.cinchcast.com%2fCinchPlaylist.aspx%3FRecordingID%3D71906\u0026amp;playermode\u003dfull\u0026amp;autostart\u003dfalse\u0026amp;bufferlength\u003d5\u0026amp;volume\u003d80\u0026amp;callback\u003dhttp://www.cinchcast.com/FlashPlayerCallback.aspx\u0026amp;width\u003d300\u0026amp;height\u003d200\u0026amp;volume\u003d80\u0026amp;corner\u003drounded\" height\u003d\"200\" id\u003d\"71906\" menu\u003d\"false\" name\u003d\"71906\" pluginspage\u003d\"http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer\" quality\u003d\"high\" src\u003d\"http://www.cinchcast.com/cinchplayerext.swf\" type\u003d\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width\u003d\"300\" wmode\u003d\"transparent\"\u003e\u003c/embed\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003eClick above to Listen. You can share or embed.\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eGo here for the text version --  \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/alzheimers-caregiver-lament-this-is-not.html\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eAlzheimer's Caregiver Lament -- This is Not the Person I Knew\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ciframe allowtransparency\u003d\"true\" frameborder\u003d\"0\" scrolling\u003d\"no\" src\u003d\"http://www.facebook.com/plugins/like.php?href\u003dhttp://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/\" style\u003d\"height: 88px; width: 100%;\"\u003e\u003c/iframe\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cform action\u003d\"http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify\" method\u003d\"post\" onsubmit\u003d\"window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri\u003dTheAlzheimersReadingRoom', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars\u003dyes,width\u003d495,height\u003d468');return true\" style\u003d\"border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 2 px; text-align: center;\" target\u003d\"popupwindow\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: large;\"\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: teal;\"\u003eSubscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/span\u003e \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eEnter Your Email Address\u003c/b\u003e   \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"email\" style\u003d\"width: 200px;\" type\u003d\"text\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"uri\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"TheAlzheimersReadingRoom\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"loc\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"en_US\" /\u003e\u003cinput type\u003d\"submit\" value\u003d\"Subscribe\" /\u003e\u003c/form\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003eMore About the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/about-alzheimers-reading-room.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/center\u003e \u003cb\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/alzheimers-reading-room-testimonials.html\"\u003e60 Good Reasons to Subscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room \u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/advice-and-insight-alzheimers.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's CareGiving -- Insight and Advice\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/topic-test-your-memory-for-alzheimers.html\"\u003eTest Your Memory for Alzheimer's (5 Best Self Assessment Tests)\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/12/communicating-in-alzheimers-world.html\"\u003eCommunicating in  Alzheimer's World\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/worried-about-alzheimers-disease.html\"\u003eWorried About Alzheimer's Disease -- You Should Be\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/what-is-alzheimers-what-are-eight-types.html\"\u003eWhat is Alzheimer's? What are the Eight Types of Dementia?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/does-combination-of-aricept-and-namenda.html\"\u003eDoes the Combination of Aricept and Namenda Help Slow the Rate of Decline in Alzheimer's Patients\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/alzheimers-statistics.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Disease Statistics\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/03/is-it-really-alzheimers-or-something.html\"\u003eIs it Really Alzheimer's or Something Else?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/05/ten-symptoms-of-early-stage-alzheimers.html\"\u003eTen Symptoms of Early Stage Alzheimer's\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/ten-tips-for-communicating-with.html\"\u003eTen Tips for Communicating with an Alzheimer’s Patient\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003c/b\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL120_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003dB002KHMZQ8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Alzheimers-Action-Plan-Diagnosis-Treatment/dp/B002KHMZQ8?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Alzheimer's Action Plan\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e \u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd width\u003d\"32\"\u003e\u0026nbsp; \u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL120_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003d1932603166\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Caregivers-Guide-Alzheimers-Disease-Making/dp/1932603166?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e300 Tips for Making Life Easier\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003c/center\u003e  \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: left;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"85\" src\u003d\"http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/SPDjt6cT4-I/AAAAAAAABMQ/MXL3uRljPQU/s200/Head+shot+5.JPG\" style\u003d\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\" width\u003d\"85\" /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/09/bob-demarco-editorcontributor.html\"\u003eBob DeMarco\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e is the editor of the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/about-alzheimers-reading-room.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob has written more than 1,610 articles with more than 8,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.\u003c/b\u003e  \u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"font-size: large;\"\u003eOriginal content Bob DeMarco, the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/alzheimers-caregiver-lament-this-is-not.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6471983413705881126-5865998628135294475?l\u003dwww.alzheimersreadingroom.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"related","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/alzheimers-caregiver-lament-this-is-not.html","title":"Alzheimer's Caregiver Lament -- This is Not the Person I Knew (Cinch Cast)"},{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/feeds/5865998628135294475/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/alzheimers-caregiver-lament-this-is-not.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/5865998628135294475"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/5865998628135294475"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/07/alzheimers-caregiver-lament-this-is-not.html","title":"Alzheimer's Caregiver Lament -- This is Not the Person I Knew (Cinch Cast)"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Bob DeMarco"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/14861703129474871916"},"email":{"$t":"rtdemarco@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"02937219926706406775"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/TCydzB5ARBI/AAAAAAAACSs/9lP2MHnBhgM/s72-c/Egg.jpg","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}},{"id":{"$t":"tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471983413705881126.post-64071431154828461"},"published":{"$t":"2010-06-19T09:48:00.002-04:00"},"updated":{"$t":"2010-07-04T10:39:37.179-04:00"},"category":[{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"alzheimer's"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"perspective"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"news"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"eating"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"Alzheimer's disease"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"exercise"},{"scheme":"http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#","term":"advice"}],"title":{"type":"text","$t":"The Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver -- I just wanted to scream, STOP Eating!"},"content":{"type":"html","$t":"\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003eI learned that I was not alone. I learned that I was the one and it was up to me. I reminded myself, if not me, Who?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI came to a clear understanding that I was an Alzheimer's caregiver -- by Choice.....\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"200\" src\u003d\"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/Sw_nyp_RzyI/AAAAAAAAB-I/ab6AlVDVTWQ/s200/Head+shot+5.JPG\" width\u003d\"189\" /\u003e\u003c/div\u003eLately, I am writing about my metamorphosis as an Alzheimer's caregiver. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eMany of the successes I had were a results of observation, thought, trial and error. Some of my ideas came to me after talking with other Alzheimer's caregivers. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSome of the techniques I developed took months or years before they started to work effectively.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIt isn't easy. Sometimes I get the impression that I might be making it sound easy on the Alzheimer's Reading Room. That is not my intention.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI decided to go back and read some of the articles I wrote in previous years. I was not surprised to learn that my attitude and use of words was very different in the past. I was clearly more stressed and less focused.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eI just wanted to scream, STOP Eating! \u003c/b\u003e I wrote this article, included below, a long time ago. If you have been here with me on the Alzheimer's Reading Room for a while you will notice the difference in the tone of my writing. Look at the different kinds of words I was using.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca name\u003d'more'\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cform action\u003d\"http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify\" method\u003d\"post\" onsubmit\u003d\"window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri\u003dTheAlzheimersReadingRoom', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars\u003dyes,width\u003d495,height\u003d468');return true\" style\u003d\"border: 1px solid #ccc; padding: 2 px; text-align: center;\" target\u003d\"popupwindow\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class\u003d\"Apple-style-span\" style\u003d\"color: #0b5394;\"\u003eSubscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/b\u003e \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eEnter Your Email Address\u003c/b\u003e \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"email\" style\u003d\"width: 200px;\" type\u003d\"text\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"uri\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"TheAlzheimersReadingRoom\" /\u003e\u003cinput name\u003d\"loc\" type\u003d\"hidden\" value\u003d\"en_US\" /\u003e\u003cinput type\u003d\"submit\" value\u003d\"Subscribe\" /\u003e\u003c/form\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ci\u003eThis is a revisit of an article I wrote several years ago. The words in italics are new and included to add perspective.\u003c/i\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eI just wanted to scream, STOP Eating!\u003c/b\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIn the beginning, one of the things that drove me crazy was my mother’s constant eating. My mother would just eat and eat and eat. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eEven though she was overeating, she would tell her friends on the telephone that she had not eaten a thing all day. And, this was at 4:30 in the afternoon. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIt seemed that the more she ate the more she denied eating. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIt only continued to get crazier and crazier. My mother who was a good 30 pounds overweight told her friends I was trying to starve her. The friends believed her. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThey called to ask me why I wasn’t feeding my mother. They couldn’t accept she was suffering from Alzheimer’s disease -- so they believed her. When I asked them if it looked like she was being starved they just did not know how to respond. They just got confused. I invited them to come over and look around the kitchen to see if we had locks on the food (\u003ci\u003enote: I had a much different attitude in those days\u003c/i\u003e).\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eIt might not be easy to envision this but my mother could eat a five course meal, and then turn around and eat again in 30 minutes. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThis happened for the first time on Easter Sunday. We went to a buffet style brunch at the Delray Beach Country Club. My mother had everything that day ranging from a ham and cheese omelet, to turkey, potatoes, and even a couple of desserts. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhen we arrived home she changed her cloths and ate a large bowl of cereal with a banana. I was thinking to myself that I was going to be unable to eat anything for the rest of the day. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSeeing her eating the cereal drove me crazy, literally up the wall. This was becoming a common experience for me. It left me angry, confused and completely out of sorts.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eI just wanted to scream, Stop!\u003c/b\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI am not talking about a large woman. Before the Alzheimer’s really started taking hold, I doubt that my mother's weight fluctuated more than five to seven pounds over the previous 15 years. She wore a size 6-8 all those years.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eNow, it was not unusual for my mother to eat at 11:30 at night, to get up out of bed and eat at 1:30 AM, and get up out of bed and eat at 4.27 AM.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eShe would eat breakfast at 7 AM and again at 9. She would eat lunch, several snacks.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eEveryday at 4:30 in the afternoon, after I reminded her that we would be eating dinner in half an hour, she would maker herself a sandwich and eat it. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eYou could set your clock to the time of day. I could go out into the kitchen and just wait for her, or better yet just perk my ears up at 4:30, and listen for the refrigerator to start beeping. Later she would have dinner and begin the cycle all over again beginning around 9 o’clock at night.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThis pattern of eating was driving me crazier and crazier. My tiny 5 foot tall mother had ballooned to 152 pounds. I knew this was dangerous to her health (she was developing visceral fat and this can be life threatening). She could barely walk to the mailbox and back. It was causing her to become more and more sedentary. It was a vicious cycle. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. \u003ci\u003e(Note: I eventually knocked 18 pounds off her mostly through exercise in the gym)\u003c/i\u003e.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eFinally, I decided to get us into the gym for some exercise (my own weight had ballooned all the way up to 206). \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eAs I was thinking about how I might accomplish this mission we received a flyer in the mail from my mother’s healthcare provider (Humana). It was almost as if I was receiving an answer to a prayer: the Silver Sneakers Program. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThe flyer announced that on January 1, 2005 all Humana Gold Plus members would be eligible for a free membership to a gym, and enrollment into a exercise program specifically designed for Senior citizens. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI enrolled my mother into the Silver Sneakers Program (SSP) and bought myself a two year membership to Gold’s Gym in Delray Beach. Since the SSP was offered at Gold’s this allowed us to go to the gym and to work out at the same time. And this is where it happened.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ci\u003eUpdate to the old article: \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThis was the beginning of the official exercise program. Prior to this we had been going over to the clubhouse to exercise. We did not maintain a schedule. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWhen we joined the gym, my mother was in the Silver Sneakers program. Later she migrated into the gym and we started working out together. This included some weight training.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThis is when I first observed that exercise had a dramatic effect on my mother's mental attitude and behavior (in the gym). This observation lead me to conclude that there was more going on in my mother's brain that I had previously considered.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eMy observations about the exercise lead me to try new and different things with my mother. Once I could see that we could accomplish many things that I thought were impossible, I began to systematize my efforts. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI learned from a wonderful couple I met in the gym that my mother's eating problem was not unique -- they had experienced the same problem their mother. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ci\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cb\u003eOne day, I met two wonderful people--by chance. They listened to me, shaking their heads up and down (saying yes nonverbally). When I was done venting, they told me about their own round trip ride with their mother who suffered from Alzheimer's. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eThat day I learned one of my important lessons, I was not alone. This realization lifted a thousand pound weight off my back. It allowed me to really start thinking more clearly about developing a plan to take care of my mother. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSee -- \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/09/metamorphosis-of-this-alzheimers.html\"\u003eThe Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver (Part One)\u003c/a\u003e.\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003c/i\u003e\u003ci\u003eAs we had our small little successes together, I started to get more confident and more determined. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eDespite the fact that the Alzheimer's was eating away at my mother's brain and that she was deteriorating mentally -- we were able to begin accomplishing many things together that would have seemed unlikely or impossible to many Alzheimer's caregivers.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eWe started living our lives as we had before the diagnosis of the Alzheimer's came. This was a major leap -- it was not planned or expected. It just happened.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI did get some important help and advice from others. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eSome of this came from complete strangers that I ran into. They had already taken the round trip ride with Alzheimer's. I was fortunate. Most of them encouraged me. They gave me my most important lessons. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI learned that \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/my-alzheimers-mantra.html\"\u003eI was not alone\u003c/a\u003e. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI learned that I was the one and it was up to me. \u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI reminded myself, if not me, Who?\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eI came to a clear understanding that \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/10/this-alzheimers-caregiver-had-choice-i.html\"\u003eI was an Alzheimer's caregiver -- by Choice\u003c/a\u003e.\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003eMy name is Bob DeMarco, I am an Alzheimer's caregiver. My mother Dorothy, now 93 years old, suffers from Alzheimer's disease. We live our life one day at a time.\u003c/i\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"separator\" style\u003d\"clear: both; text-align: left;\"\u003e\u003cimg border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"85\" src\u003d\"http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/SPDjt6cT4-I/AAAAAAAABMQ/MXL3uRljPQU/s200/Head+shot+5.JPG\" style\u003d\"clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;\" width\u003d\"85\" /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e\u003cspan style\u003d\"font-size: small;\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/09/bob-demarco-editorcontributor.html\"\u003eBob DeMarco\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e is the editor of the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/about-alzheimers-reading-room.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob has written more than 1,565 articles with more than 8,000 links on the Internet. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL.\u003c/b\u003e \u003c/blockquote\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cb\u003eMore About the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/02/about-alzheimers-reading-room.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/alzheimers-reading-room-testimonials.html\"\u003e60 Good Reasons to Subscribe to the Alzheimer's Reading Room \u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/03/advice-and-insight-alzheimers.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's CareGiving -- Insight and Advice\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/topic-test-your-memory-for-alzheimers.html\"\u003eTest Your Memory for Alzheimer's (5 Best Self Assessment Tests)\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/12/communicating-in-alzheimers-world.html\"\u003eCommunicating in  Alzheimer's World\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/worried-about-alzheimers-disease.html\"\u003eWorried About Alzheimer's Disease -- You Should Be\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/what-is-alzheimers-what-are-eight-types.html\"\u003eWhat is Alzheimer's? What are the Eight Types of Dementia?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/does-combination-of-aricept-and-namenda.html\"\u003eDoes the Combination of Aricept and Namenda Help Slow the Rate of Decline in Alzheimer's Patients\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/p/alzheimers-statistics.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Disease Statistics\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/03/is-it-really-alzheimers-or-something.html\"\u003eIs it Really Alzheimer's or Something Else?\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2010/05/ten-symptoms-of-early-stage-alzheimers.html\"\u003eTen Symptoms of Early Stage Alzheimer's\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/10/h1n1-flu-virus-everything-you-need-to.html\"\u003eH1N1 Flu Virus Everything You Need to Know\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/09/metamorphosis-of-this-alzheimers.html\"\u003eThe Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver (Part One)\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/worried-about-alzheimers-five-ways-to.html\"\u003eWorried about Alzheimer's? Five Ways to Protect Yourself\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/08/alzheimers-wandering-why-it-happens-and.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Wandering Why it Happens and What to Do\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ul\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL150_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003dB002KHMZQ8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Alzheimers-Action-Plan-Diagnosis-Treatment/dp/B002KHMZQ8?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Alzheimer's Action Plan\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd width\u003d\"32\"\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003ctd align\u003d\"center\"\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cimg src\u003d\"http://ws.amazon.com/widgets/q?MarketPlace\u003dUS\u0026amp;ServiceVersion\u003d20070822\u0026amp;ID\u003dAsinImage\u0026amp;WS\u003d1\u0026amp;Format\u003d_SL150_\u0026amp;ASIN\u003d1932603166\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\" /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.amazon.com/Caregivers-Guide-Alzheimers-Disease-Making/dp/1932603166?ie\u003dUTF8\u0026amp;tag\u003dalzreadingroom-20\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e300 Tips for Making Life Easier\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/td\u003e\u003c/tr\u003e\u003c/tbody\u003e\u003c/table\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003c/center\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cbr /\u003e\u003cb\u003eOriginal content Bob DeMarco, the \u003ca href\u003d\"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/metamorphosis-of-this-alzheimers_27.html\"\u003eAlzheimer's Reading Room\u003c/a\u003e\u003c/b\u003e\u003cdiv class\u003d\"blogger-post-footer\"\u003e\u003cimg width\u003d'1' height\u003d'1' src\u003d'https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6471983413705881126-64071431154828461?l\u003dwww.alzheimersreadingroom.com' alt\u003d'' /\u003e\u003c/div\u003e"},"link":[{"rel":"related","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/metamorphosis-of-this-alzheimers_27.html","title":"The Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver -- I just wanted to scream, STOP Eating!"},{"rel":"replies","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/feeds/64071431154828461/comments/default","title":"Post Comments"},{"rel":"replies","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/metamorphosis-of-this-alzheimers_27.html#comment-form","title":"0 Comments"},{"rel":"edit","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/64071431154828461"},{"rel":"self","type":"application/atom+xml","href":"http://www.blogger.com/feeds/6471983413705881126/posts/default/64071431154828461"},{"rel":"alternate","type":"text/html","href":"http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/2009/11/metamorphosis-of-this-alzheimers_27.html","title":"The Metamorphosis of This Alzheimer's Caregiver -- I just wanted to scream, STOP Eating!"}],"author":[{"name":{"$t":"Bob DeMarco"},"uri":{"$t":"http://www.blogger.com/profile/14861703129474871916"},"email":{"$t":"rtdemarco@gmail.com"},"gd$extendedProperty":{"xmlns$gd":"http://schemas.google.com/g/2005","name":"OpenSocialUserId","value":"02937219926706406775"}}],"media$thumbnail":{"xmlns$media":"http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/","url":"http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_UUEwElMfh90/Sw_nyp_RzyI/AAAAAAAAB-I/ab6AlVDVTWQ/s72-c/Head+shot+5.JPG","height":"72","width":"72"},"thr$total":{"$t":"0"}}]}});