May 4, 2011

Bobby Where are YOU, PEE, and Back to the Woods

By the time Dotty finishes eating lunch and being entertained by Harvey, it will be time to pee.

Effective dementia care and Alzheimer's care takes patience.
By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

I am sitting here thinking about all the different topics I want to write about. I am also thinking about the many things I have been asked to write about via email, or in the comments section under the articles.

For example, several people have emailed me, independently and asked me to write about or describe our day. I want to do that. However, it won't be easy. Should I write about each event as it occurs and describe why we are doing what we are doing? Should I write every two hours?

Take right now. Dotty is lying on the sofa. I moved the furniture around so she can see me when she is on the sofa, and I am on the computer. This worked wonders.

However, sometimes she sits in her lazy boy chair. If she is in the chair she can't see me. Want to guess what happens when she can't see me?

How to Get Answers To Your Questions About Alzheimer's and Dementia

If she can't see me, sooner or later, mostly sooner, she will say, Bobby where are you? If I don't answer right away, she asks over and over with a greater sense of angst.

Sometimes when I go to the bathroom and return Dotty will say, "I thought you were out". She means out, for a long time.

After that happens, that same night she will tell anyone that calls or will listen, "I don't know where he goes, he was gone all day". If a seed of an idea gets in Dotty's head -- forget about it. I am sure many of you know exactly what I mean.

My sister Joanne will tell you. Joanne and mom can be sitting in the kitchen yakking. Sure enough, and soon enough, Dotty will be calling out, Bobby where are you? It won't help if Joanne says, "he is on the computer". I have to either yell back to her, or go up there so she can see me.

As soon as I finish writing this article, I will take Dotty to the bathroom. Its pee pee intervention time.

I have to remember to take Dotty for a pee pee every 90 minutes or sooner. If I wait for Dotty to say, "I have to pee", guess what happens? Correct. Its too late.

We have to keep that tank empty or my feet will take another trip down the yellow river. Well, to be honest, that doesn't happen much anymore. But it did before I finally said DUH to myself, and figured out, we gotta keep that tank empty. Did you ever read the book the Yellow River by I. P. Daily?

Now my guess is that some of you hear this famous word when you tell your loved one, time to take a pee. The word? NO. Been there. Been there thousands of times.

How did I overcome this? Simple. After a couple of years of thinking about it I finally realized I have to marry some other event to the pee pee intervention.

In this case, I am going to say, Dotty time to take a pee and then we are going to have a nice lunch. Dotty might say, I don't have to pee. No argument from me. However, we will be on our way to the pee pee room as this happens. Dotty will take her pee pee and then get her lunch.

Day after day after day folks this is how it goes. Its part of the scheduled pattern of our day. In other words, this is how I won the dreaded pee pee war. This was along the way to defeating the dreaded urinary tract infection.

Pee Pee every two hours, or sooner, or disaster.

So there you go. A slice of our day.

Soon I am going to write about why I take Dotty out when it is dark. Like when the Sun is Down. Get it?

If you made it to this part of the article. Thanks for reading. Just remember Rome wasn't built in day. Or, Alzheimer's caregiver success is not always right around the corner. You gotta walk the mile first.

There goes Dotty right on cue. "I'm dying you know, I'm starving". And here I go, pee pee intervention followed by lunch.

Followed by our new buddy Harvey. By the time Dotty finishes eating lunch and being entertained by Harvey, it will be time to pee. I'll say to Dotty, time to take a pee, and then back to the woods. She will ask me where the woods are?

The woods are right back where we started.

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