Oct 3, 2011

Alzheimer's and My Buddy Nutz M Burger

Nutz M responded, you got that right, if this keeps up I am going to go nuts.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Nutz M Burger
Recently, I had a conversation with my new found friend and Alzheimer's caregiver Nutz M Burger.

Nutz M(s) wife, Nancy M Burger, was recently diagnosed with probable Alzheimer's disease.

As I am talking to Nutz M, he starts ranting and raving about how Nancy M is always hungry.

Hungry even right after she ate a steak and a baked potato and a piece of apple pie alla mode.

Nutz M finally slows down and asks me, can you believe that? I tell Nutz M, yes Nut I can believe it. I believe you because it happens to me every day. Dotty is always hungry.

Nutz M then tells me he discovered the solution to this problem. My ears really perked up when I heard this.

I ask Nut, what did you do?

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Nutz then proceeds to tell me that he video tapes Nancy M every time she eats. He has a time stamp on the video that shows the exact time of the meal.

When Nancy M says she is hungry right after eating, Nutz M sits her down in front of the television and shows her video proof that she just ate.

I immediately ask Nutz M, how does it work, does she stop saying I am hungry?

Nutz M tells me, no, she calls me a liar. Nutz M reiterates, she calls me a liar. He asks, can you believe it? I have that evidence right there and she calls me a liar.

I am not a liar Nutz says, Nancy M is the liar. She just ate and I have the proof.

I ask Nutz M, how does it make you feel when Nancy M calls you a liar? Nutz M responds, it pisses me off.

I ask, you mean you get angry, Nut? Angry as hell, Nutz M responds.

I ask, what happens next Nut? He tells me Nancy starts crying, starts pulling on her hair, and then goes into the bedroom and curls up in ball on the bed. She then refuses to talk to Nut or answer any of his questions for hours.

How does that make you feel Nut, I ask?

Nutz M responds, angry and frustrated at first. Then I end up with a stomach ache.

So what you are telling me Nut, is both of you end up angry, frustrated, and confused. He responds rather sheepishly, yes.

Next, I ask Nutz M, have you ever considered dealing with this in a different way? Nutz M responds, no.

I ask, so you just keep doing the same thing over and over? Nutz M responds yes, because sooner or later Nancy M will realize she just ate and could not possibly be hungry.

At this point I have to admit, I am totally exasperated. Nevertheless, I ask Nut, did it ever dawn on you that Nancy M can't remember she just ate?

Nutz M responds, I know she can't remember, that is why I show her the video, I am trying to help her remember.

Finally I say, Nut, something has to change you can't go on like this.

Nutz M responded, you got that right if this keeps up I am going to go nuts.

What advice do you have for Nutz M Burger?

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Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 2,910 articles with more than 652,100 links on the Internet. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room