May 24, 2012

Dotty is Still With Us, 7:13 AM, You Who I'm Awake You Know

Was Alzheimer's an automatic death sentence? No, it was not.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Right now Dotty is still with us. I'm going to spare you some of the details, but Dotty has stopped urinating.

This comes as no surprise as the amount of liquid intake yesterday was at the minimum.

It seems to me as if Dotty's body is shutting down in an orderly, yet slow, progression. Her spirit has yet to soar out of her body.

Yesterday can best be described as hair raising. None of this was caused by Dotty.

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I thought all I had to was pick up the phone and the Hospice would provide critical care. This was based on the conversation I had with the nurse on Tuesday morning. I'll spare you the details. After seven hours of waiting yesterday, I was told, over the phone, that Dotty was not eligible for critical care.

Then three hours later I received a call from Hospice and after a long series of questions, they decided to send out a nurse to evaluate. The evaluation indicated that Dotty needed, and was eligible for critical care. Around 10 PM last night, the critical care nurse arrived.

Let's just leave it at this. Everything is beautiful in its own convoluted way.

It seems that there are people in the world that believe you should leave a dying person alone so they can get going. Say what?

Well, I have my own beliefs. I believe someone should be right there holding their hand. As far as the deeply forgetful go there is one thing I know for certain, the majority of those who are deeply forgetful don't want to be alone.

I have no problem if others have beliefs that are different than mine. As long as they try and understand my beliefs, our beliefs.

It seems that there is speculation on the parts of persons that don't know her that Dotty is hanging around because she has some unresolved issue. This I understand. Is this the case with Dotty?

Could be, but I doubt it.

One thing I do know. Dotty has believed for the last 8 years that she is a "healthy old broad". She has repeatedly told people she has never taken a pill (medication) in her life. She was telling our good friends Jim and Ruth this over and over, less than a month ago.

During these last two and a half weeks, Dotty never said I am sick, or I don't feel good. Not even when I asked her how she was doing.

If Dotty needed permission to go,  I have given it to her in every way I could think of. Out of the books, out of the pamphlets, and with my own words.

Dotty is a strong old broad, my words. She has never had a major illness. Her heart, lungs, kidneys, etc. all good.

The bottom line, Dotty is going to soar out of her body when she is good and ready. I am not going to let anyone put negative thoughts and doubts in my brain.

Nobody in the world knows Dotty better than me. That old girls is something else. Always has been. Its just the way it is.

Thanks for listening to the above.

Can you believe it, I just sleep for 6 hours.

It has been 18 days since Dotty last awoke in the morning, took a pee, walked to the door of her bedroom and said, YouWho I'm awake you know. Dotty has been saying this for several years.

For those of you that are new to ARR, I'll give you some perspective. During the period of burden when Dotty made it to the door of her bedroom she would say, Bobby Bobby Bobby. Not in a confident voice, but in a voice filled with a need to know. To know she was not alone.

It was only after we were on the path to joy that Dotty started saying, YouWho I am a awake you know. There was no angst in her voice. She was just announcing that she was up, awake, and ready to start the day.

I am going to miss Dotty saying YouWho I am awake you know. No doubt.  But this is not going to sadden me. I am going to listen to the sound of her voice in my head. This will remind me that Dotty was happy. Who knows, maybe I'll say those words for a while when I wake up in the morning and then think about Dotty. I'll do the same thing I have been doing for many years. I'll get out in front of it. No need to redirect my feelings. Just feel.

To be clear. The critical care nurse is here with us. Dotty is still home. I don't think she is in any major pain. She is distressed, her breathing tells me this. She is taking morphine. Dotty might still be thinking, I'm a healthy old broad. Who knows?

We are on the one inch line. One more inch.

For me remarkable. I think we are going to make it. Every single goal, the entire mission completed.

Along the way, Dotty and I built something wonderful together. It is right here. The Alzheimer's Reading Room. Take that Alzheimer's.

Dotty and I managed to surround ourselves with thousands of wonderful people. You.

Was Alzheimer's an automatic death sentence? No, it was not.

We proved it is not. We're not the only One's.

Thank you for your continued support, kind words, and prayers. You really helped to make this an extraordinary experience.

Thanks to Hospice by the Sea for their support.

More Insight and Advice from the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 3,511 articles with more than 297,100 links on the Internet. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room