May 16, 2012

Dotty is Still With Us, Wednesday, 4 PM

I am now saying this with confidence.  Even though Dotty won't be able to say my name, or might ask me, who are you?, Dotty will know me.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

Dotty is resting comfortably right now, although her breathing is labored. It is very difficult for me to give you an assessment because at times I feel confused.

The biggest news so far is that out of the clear blue sky, Dotty ate a scrambled egg yesterday. For almost a week, I could not get her to eat anything even though I tried everything under the sun.

When she agreed to eat water melon, we turned the corner on the pattern. She went from refusing to eat, to eating.

Today so far she will eat water melon, you should see the look on her face. I'm tempted to make a video. She looks like she is really enjoying the melon. She is also drinking some Boost and some water.

I'll try egg or chicken broth with pastina shortly.

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For certain Dotty is getting weaker. She is having trouble speaking, not garbled, just speaking.

Sadly, she didn't know me this morning, and I am not sure if she knows me right now. She did say my name during the day.

This is why I am confused about how I might describe to you how she is doing.

It appears that she won't know me for part of our journey.

Let me correct this so there won't be any confusion. It will appear to me, and to others that Dotty doesn't know me. But I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that she will know me all the way to the end. Read that. Until the end.

I have absolutely no doubt that there is always more there. No doubt. Just because we can't see it much of the time, doesn't mean it isn't there.

I am now saying this with confidence. Even though Dotty won't be able to say my name, or might ask me, who are you?, Dotty will know me.

I am here for the first time. In this situation for the first time. It is now apparent to me that Ditty will know.

They will know you also. You have to go to the World, to recognize this. Go.

I learned how to feed Dotty water. At times she can no longer suck the water or Boost through the straw. How did I do it?

I dip the straw in the water, put my finger on the other end of the straw, and they I let the liquid drop into her mouth. I don't drop it straight in, I put it in on an angle. I don't want Dotty to feel like she is drowning. Although the amount of liquid that I am putting in her mouth at a time is only several drops.

Why didn't somebody tell me to do it this way. All you need is a straw and a finger. No syringe, no turkey baster.

Bunkhouse Logic at its best.

I will try to be more specific late tonight or tomorrow morning.

As always, thanks for your support. Dotty and I needed you more than I could have imagined before we arrived at this place in space and time.

I'm prepared for any and every eventuality right now. Please don't feel sorry for me.

Instead, pray for Dotty to pass over into the light peacefully.

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Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 3,511 articles with more than 297,100 links on the Internet. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room