May 11, 2012

My Thoughts Right Now, May 11

Let's just say its difficult right now.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

I don't want to mislead anyone, but you know how I am, I see things in my own way. I could use some pretty heavy, negative words to describe what is happening, but I can't and I won't.

Let's just say its difficult right now. My mother is dying.

I had two major missions in life in the last eight and one half years: to bring to my mother the highest quality of life possible; and, to keep my mother right here in our home until the end.

It looks like I am on the precipice of accomplishing both. Thank God.

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My thought are all over the place at this moment. Soon I will make it clear that Alzheimer's is not an automatic death sentence. I intend to cut loose on this issue. I will no longer stand silently while this message is being delivered to families in the United States and around the world.

I never could have expected it, but all of my thoughts, feelings and beliefs are chronicled on this website. Every article has a time stamp in the URL which cannot be changed or altered. The record is real.

I am thinking of Alzheimer's caregivers all over the world right now. I'm just one of millions. Nothing more, nothing less.

Soon I will have experienced all of it from beginning to end. I knew I would be here someday. I am.

I'm convinced that dementia care is a very high station in life. This is one message that needs to "resonate".

Alzheimer's caregiving at its base is about compassion, caring, and open mindedness. Sadly, it is also about dismissing the stigma that is often attached to Alzheimer's disease and the others types of dementia.

Shame on those people that perpetrate the myth that Alzheimer's is an automatic death sentence in the name of the almighty dollar.

Your dysfunctional behavior needs to be stopped, it needs to be stopped now, and shortly I will embark on a mission to stop it. I won't be alone this time.

My beloved Dotty is declining slowly. For the most part she is comfortable. I don't know if we will be giving her any drugs to make her passing go smoothly. If its up to me we won't. However, I'll trust the judgement of Hospice and of those around the world that I also trust.

Dotty lived the deeply forgetful life for about nine years I suppose. The deep and the forgetful grows each day.

However, just last Friday I took her out to breakfast, and then on Friday night she ate a Philly cheese steak sandwich. One week ago.





This is similar to what we might have done ten or twenty years ago. I am sure you understand there were constraints. Nevertheless,





Right up to the end.

If you ask me, Dotty is living her life right up until the end right now.

In the last few days, I keep thinking my heart must be much bigger than it was nine years ago. I think if they weighed it then and weighed it now, it would weigh more.

Dotty taught me to live life. She taught me how to think and feel.

We did survive. We are survivors.

Life is life, and this is the life we lived.

In July 2009, Tony Polk suggested that I write more about my mother. Thank you Tony, we got quite a bit of it down here. Including the podcasts and videos.

I believe each caregiver gets to choose.

Burden or Joy.

I chose Joy. I'm not the only one. I have more than 1,000 emails from people that took the step, the step into Alzheimer's World. Each of these people found compassionate, unleashed the ability to care within them, and they chose.

For those of you that are asking. I am not going anywhere. I won't abandon anyone.

I am not exactly sure of what I am going to do next. I would assume it will be a natural intellectual, and more proactive form, of what I have been doing since the Alzheimer's Reading Room came into being.

More Insight and Advice from the Alzheimer's Reading Room

Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 3,511 articles with more than 297,100 links on the Internet. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room