Jul 3, 2012

Dotty Dreams, The Locket

Support really works. It seems it works better than I previously imagined.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

I mentioned previously that I thought I would start having some intense dreams about Dotty after a month or so. I based this on the experience I had after my father, Frank, died.

So far I had a few dreams about Dotty but nothing really intense. However, in the last few nights I am having all kinds of wild and crazy dreams.

I know I am dreaming every night, it is just a matter of whether or not I remember my dreams.

Last night I was dreaming wildly and woke up wide awake. This is unusual for me. I usually wake up, think about the dream, and go right back to sleep.

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Last night, I was so wide awake, I got up and jumped on the computer for a while. Then I went back to sleep. Big mistake. I felt all lethargic when I woke up this morning.

I will try and remind myself to put a notebook over by my bed so I can take some notes if I have a really "big" dream. You have to do that because sometimes you forget your dreams by the time you wake up.

Last week, I wrote about how I was taking Dotty out with me on her birthday. I put some of her ashes in a locket.

I can now say this was a very worthwhile and rewarding experience. Whenever I had a "trigger" moment, for example, what it would be like if I had Dotty with me, or how I wished I had Dotty with me, I reached in my pocket and squeezed the locket. I did take it out and look at it also.

Each time it was a very comforting.

Thanks to all of you that made encouraging comments under my article about taking Dotty out. Very uplifting for me.

I also know there are people that found this disconcerting, or find it disconcerting that I am still writing about Dotty in this way.

Most of you that are commenting or emailing are encouraging me to continue to write about Dotty and my feelings.

It is my intention to continue writing about Dotty in every which way. She will live on here in the Alzheimer's Reading Room, and she will live on in my mind.

I fully suspect that before long Dotty will come in here herself and offer some advice and perspective. We shall see.

As far as cremation jewelry goes, on my goodness. A Google search for cremation jewelry returned 474,000 results.

They have every thing under the sun. Diamonds you can put ashes in, and all kinds of jewelry that is hollowed out. I wonder how they get the ashes in some of those tiny holes?

Check out this heirloom vessel. It even has a window in it so you can see the ashes.

It is not for me, but I have to think that would be one heck of a conversation starter if you wore it around your neck.

For now I think I am sticking with the locket I have. It belonged to Dotty and has her initials engraved on it. So it has extra special meaning.

However, I won't rule out moving her to something else if I find something that strikes me just right.

I wonder if I could get the locket blessed by the Pope. I guess I would have to make it to the Vatican. One thing for sure, Dotty would really dig that if I did it.

Thanks for the support.

Support really works. It seems it works better than I previously imagined.

Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 3,711 articles with more than 302,100 links on the Internet. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room