Dec 27, 2012

Did you ever wonder why most Alzheimer's patients stick like glue to their caregiver?

You are the one person in the world that makes the person living with Alzheimer's feel secure.

By +Bob DeMarco
+Alzheimer's Reading Room

Did you ever wonder why most Alzheimer's patients | Alzheimer's Reading Room

There are a long list of psychological and emotional reasons why persons who are deeply forgetful, living with dementia, stick like glue to their caregiver.

Here is one straightforward reason that explain this stickiness:

You are the one person in the world that makes the person living with Alzheimer's feel secure.

Every person that helped me care for Dotty for any period of time will tell you Dotty always asked over and over,

Where is Bobby? When is Bobby coming back?

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Most simply, you are the person that helps the person who is deeply forgetful stay attached to the world.

A world that is filled with confusion, uncertainty, and can be quite scary.

I hear people say and write,

This is not the person I knew.

I hear people talk, write, and describe Alzheimer's as the long goodbye.

Well, if the person you care for is constantly asking where you are, or calling out your name, or asking when you are coming back -- they for certain know who you are. They know you.

If they call your name in the morning, or call out your name when they can't see you, it does not appear to me that they are saying goodbye to you. They are saying Hello.

Many prefer to focus in on what a person who is becoming increasingly deeply forgetful can't do. What they can no longer do.

They obsess about memory, and the deterioration of short term, right now, memory.

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As caregivers we often fail to look beyond the obvious. To ask ourselves why? Or to focus in on what it is that makes the deeply forgetful more there.

Most caregivers as they migrate from the period of greatest burden on to the path of Joyful caregiving come to accept the person in their care for what they are - a living breathing person.

Not an object.

They stick to us like glue. You might ask yourself, why are they sticking to me like glue? Why me?

The answers to this question might seem elusive. It is elusive because it is so simple, yet beyond the obvious and easy to understand.

They stick to us like glue because we are the ONE(s).

This is the most simple explanation of them all.

Advice and Insight into Alzheimer's and Dementia

Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The ARR knowledge base contains more than 5,100 articles. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.

Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room