Oct 22, 2013

From the Collective Brain -- One of the Things that Helped My Mother's Anxiety

I also learned that saying "I love you" whenever your loved one becomes anxious quells fears and leave both parties basking in its glow.

Loving Heart

By Bob DeMarco
+Alzheimer's Reading Room

For those of you that are new readers, I often refer to the Collective Brain of the Alzheimer's Reading Room.

When I do this I am not only referring to the tremendous support that we bring to each other here on the ARR, I am also referring to the enormous amount of information, insight, and empathy we share as a group (collective).

Recently our reader Catherine provided some insight and advice in the form of a comment under an article.

Her comment was short, concise and right on target. I believe it could help many caregivers, so I'll encourage you to share this around the Internet and in support groups.

What is your reaction to her words?

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Catherine Gentile wrote this advice in the comments section under the article - My Husband Accuses Me of Having an Affair When I Go Out.
One of the things that helped my mother's anxiety when I was leaving the nursing facility in which she lived was to repeat the same script with her each time I left. 
First, I told her I needed to go because I had errands to run--this seemed to make sense to her, probably because she was familiar with the notion of doing errands. 
Second, I told her that I would come back later--I didn't specify when; I emphasized that I would be back. 
Finally, I told her I loved her. The final statement brought a smile and, while she was able, a return statement, "I love you, too." 
After a while Mom seemed to anticipate the three items in my script; they seemed to cue her that I was getting ready to leave. 
And since I did visit her regularly, she seemed content with the consistency and honestly of the information I gave her. 
I also learned that saying
"I love you" 
whenever your loved one becomes anxious quells fears and leaves both parties basking in its glow.


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