Oct 8, 2013

My Husband Accuses Me of Having an Affair When I Go Out

When I left my mother alone she quickly became scared, confused, anxious, and I soon learned she feared that I was going to abandon her.

My Husband Accuses Me of Having an Affair When I Go Out

By +Bob DeMarco
+Alzheimer's Reading Room

I actually received the question below from Randy Gurian on our Alzheimer's Reading Room Google + page -- +Alzheimer's Reading Room. You are welcome to add us to your circle(s) or follow our Google + pages.
Bob, what do you do when you briefly go outside to walk our dog or go to the drugstore to pick up medicines and when I return, my husband constantly accuses me of having an affair with a neighbor, locks himself in the bedroom and refuses to come out for hours for either food or medicine.

He yells at me and huts my feelings.

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For those of you that are new let me provide some background.

I took care of my mother, Dotty, from November 17, 2003 until she went to Heaven on May 25, 2012. She was with me at home the entire time, and died in her bedroom.

As I look back I divide my caregiver effort into three major periods. The period of greatest burden, the period of lessening burden, and the path to Joy.

I wrote more than 2,600 article about my experience and you can find all of them by searching our Knowledge Base (use the search box on the right hand side of any page).

We have more than 1,000 articles from some of the smartest and most experienced people you could ever meet. We have over 600 articles that are mostly focused on medical science, research, and treatment.

Let me start by saying this clearly -- NO -- you cannot leave an Alzheimer's patient alone beyond a certain stage of the disease. I have written about this extensively and discussed this issue repeatedly with experienced professionals like Carole Larkin.

When you leave an Alzheimer's patient alone they will likely become mean, often retreat into their bedroom, say some of the meanest things you ever heard, and give you a monster heartache and stomachache.

That is what happened to me.

Here is one example of -

As far as leaving a person living with dementia alone and how I suffered, or how you might suffer, read these articles.

Please comment below, share your experience with others, and sharethis article in the community.

This might be a good discussion article for support groups.

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Bob DeMarco is the Founder and Editor of the Alzheimer's Reading Room (ARR). Bob is a recognized influencer, speaker, and expert in the Alzheimer's and Dementia Community Worldwide. The ARR Knowledge Base contains more than 4,000 articles. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.
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