Mar 7, 2016

Alzheimer's Caregiver Grief, Love, and the Spirit Within

You may ask yourself, why me? You may wonder, why me? The answer to this question lies deep within you.

By Bob DeMarco
Alzheimer's Reading Room

"The ordinary arts we practice every day at home are of more importance to the soul than their simplicity might suggest." ~ Thomas Moore

In order to become the best Alzheimer's caregiver you can be, you must go deep down inside yourself. You need to dig into your feelings and emotions; then, recognize and accept them -- one by one. This is a process that takes time -- sometimes years.

In the beginning this usually comes in the form of "venting". A caregiver may or may not recognize these laments as an expression of grief. But, it is an attempt to deal with grief. In order to get over this hurdle -- grief -- it is necessary to feel, express sorrow, remorse, and regret.

You need to label your feelings one by one, feel and accept them. Any reluctance to do so stymies the arrival at the most important emotion of them all -- Alzheimer's caregiver love.

Over the years, I corresponded with a number of Alzheimer's caregivers that first came to me when Alzheimer's struck.

I hear their angst and I feel their pain. The shock and horror of the diagnosis. The feelings of helplessness. Like most of us they are confused.

The majority of us just don't have any idea about what we should do. How to proceed. Where to go. Who to ask. I call this the blank. It is hard to operate when your mind goes blank when you try to think.

Soon I started hearing about how family and friends don't understand. They deny, they refuse to accept, and they disappear.

If an Alzheimer's caregiver is lucky they have an understanding spouse, family member, or friend. A person that is far enough removed that they can act as a voice of reason. To help the Alzheimer's caregiver sort through all the conflicting feelings and emotions; and, help them to get on the road to effective caregiving.

Many Alzheimer's caregivers are alone. Sooner or later they will seek a support group. An effective support group will help them get on to the "road".

Learn More - Alzheimer's Support

Lost in this maze of emotions and confusion is love.  There is no substitute for the love of an Alzheimer's caregiver.

Along the road from grief, to caring, to Alzheimer's love you must come to the understanding that you are the ONE?

You are the ONE that is receiving the call.

You see, Alzheimer's caregiving is a calling.

You may ask yourself, why me? You may wonder, why me? The answer to this question lies deep within you.

Once unleashed, this "deep within you" brings to you a feeling that you could never have expected or imagined.

You are the ONE and along with this understanding comes Alzheimer's caregiver love.

What was once an unwanted burden now becomes a labor of love. The labor of Alzheimer's caregiving at its best and most wonderful.

The ONE within us is buried very deep. It is just waiting for the call. However, it does remain up to you to reach deep down inside and to answer your calling.

It is up to you to unleash this power within. To unleash this spirit within you.

This is the spirit that brings with it the strength to Love and Care.

Once this spirit is unleashed it will change the way you look, feel, and perceive the world around you.

In effect, the unleashing of this spirit will change your life and the way you live your life now and in the future.

You might want to wonder about this for a while. While wondering you might find the answer to the question -- why me?

Alzheimer's Articles

Dementia Patients Can Deceive Others to the Distress of Their Caregiver

The Frightened, Angry, Anxious, Mean Dementia Patient

Alzheimer's Care, The Power of Purpose in Our Lives

12 Ways to Control CareGiver Stress and Sadness

Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room, and an Alzheimer's caregiver. Bob resides in Delray Beach, FL. This blog contains more than 5,000 articles.

Original content the Alzheimer's Reading Room